I have a hard time expressing myself, not only in writing, but in person too.

And I have been wanting to write a blog post for about 2 weeks now and had no luck, every time I tried to go and write something, as soon as the screen comes up, my mind goes blank. Even this time, I just sat here and stare at the blank screen for a whole 5 minutes not knowing how to make my thoughts flow out smoothly.

And to be honest, I sat down today wanting to write a blog post and I don’t have any particular topic I want to talk about, maybe just how my last week had been? It’s really hard going from full time job to doing absolutely nothing at home but recover from my surgery, at first, the idea of that sounded amazing, endless hours of Netflix and shows, naps whenever I would like and not have to fear over sleeping. But man! That was definitely not the case after coming out of a tonsillectomy surgery. Day 1-5 pretty much sucked, eating was hard (not to mention soft food diet is boring), swallowing was hard (no duh), sleeping was hard (used to sleeping with my mouth open, dry my throats out), choking and gagging on everything, and overall I lost interest in anything and just wanted to sit there and helplessly cry (I did, a couple times). Now I am at a week out, still working on some things, like how to drink water without getting it up my nose, swallowing is a work in process, talking is still pretty non existence, and my latest problem, a blood clot (really?! must we go there?)

The right side of my throat have been healing pretty nicely, it gets itch and tangling  and burns at times, but I know it’s because the scab is starting to come off, but the left side, it’s giving my headache, earache, sinus problems, I just thought the tonsil were more problematic on my left because it always had been and that’s why I was running into the side effects of surgery still. But nooooo…. I looked back there last night.. and find… a yummy blood clot. A bubble of blood and veins and everything burns. I was scared, not going to lie, blood clots are never a good thing no matter where in the body we are talking, and I really really really really don’t want to have to have them operated on my throat again. And this is the time when I debated if I made the right decision to having my tonsillectomy in the first place, yes they were bothersome, but I could live with it, I had lived with it for the past 23 years!

Called my ENT on call and told them what my concerns were, came to find out it’s not uncommon to get a blood clot, just to keep a close eye on it, it will come off on it’s own.. and it might bleed a little, if it does, just swish with ice cold water to help my vein spasm to stop the bleeding, but if it doesn’t stop, it’s back to the ER and back to the operating table. The site of the blood clot is too close to major arteries and it can lead to serious blood lost.

And so just that, that’s what I been doing, in between wishing I can eat real food and not be in pain.

I did found some yummy recipes that I would LOVE to try and make as soon as possible though, like

A slice of green tea mille crepe cake, I love anything with matcha, when I go to starbucks and order their green tea latte, I often times add 8-9 scoops of matcha in the drink, turning eyes as I walk away since I have a super green drink in my hands.

Yummy yummy French macarons, delicates, classy, endless flavors, I tried making them once, they were so highly technical and difficult to perfect, I am ready to tackle perfecting them again

Not a dessert for once, I never tried making twice cooked pork, never crossed my mind that I might like twice cooked pork, but ever since eating it at a restaurant previously, I am now hooked! It is so flavorful! I cannot wait!

Omurice, something that sounded so easy to make, yet so delicious, why I never thought about making this is beyond me! I would have to make some, and bonus, you can even draw on it lol

All this food post is making me hungry, for food that I cannot eat, haha, well that’s it for now, I will check back in 🙂

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